Every day I wear a scarf
I started to always wear long pants too
and heavy makeup
even on my arms
My friends at work keep asking
What’s with the scarf?
Why the sudden interest in makeups?
What happened to your skirts?
“Can’t a beautiful woman try new stuff
to make herself feel gorgeous?”
I always joke
But as I get home
As I remove all these
ridiculous new stuff I force
myself to put on
I see myself in front of
the mirror, weeping
Looking at what I’m
I remove this exquisite lavender scarf and I see
the bruises behind my strangled neck
I remove these long pants I always put on even on an extremely hot day and I see
the bruises on a battered, hurt leg
I remove this stupid makeup I’m not even comfortable wearing and I see
the bruises gotten from an assaultive hand
Looking at the mirror
I’m starting to think that
this is now my life
that this is now my truth
A truth that was enforced to me by a person
I once thought I loved
But it doesn’t have to be
It shouldn’t be my truth
Looking at the mirror, I said
“My makeup should cover my blemishes,
not any form of abuse.
I should wear something to feel good,
not to feel worse.”
I’m breaking the cycle.
I’m breaking the silence.